Jar Jar in Middle-Earth
by Pip the Dark Lord of All
Summary: Jar Jar Binks falls into Middle-Earth and meets various people there...
1. Chapter 1

As seems to be the case for many of my stories, I really should be sorry for writing this. But I'm not. XD I am not responsible for any insanity this glorious work may cause.

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Gollum sang softly to himself as he pulled a wriggling fish from the stream. It was fresh, it was juicy, it was sweet...

"YAHOOO!"

The sudden shriek made Gollum almost drop his fish. And nothing ever did that to him. A strange creature came striding into view.

Gollum hissed a warning, but the thing came over to him, grinning like mad.

"Meesa called Jar Jar Binks. Mesa your humble servant." Jar Jar's face dropped pathetically. "Whosa yousa?"

"Gollum! Gollum!"

"What a goodsie name!" Jar Jar gushed, casually grabbing the fish and biting into it. "Meesa..."

With a snarl, Gollum knocked him over, rippling the fish out if his mouth and backing away. "Nassty fiiilthy elf-mutant...

"Whatsa elf? Mesa not an elf!"

"Filthy liar!" snarled Gollum. "We needs the precioussss! Curse us and crush us, our precioussss is lossssttt!"

"Whatsa precioussss?" Jar Jar asked, completely confused. This was his normal state. "How yousa loose yousa precious? Meesa want to help yousa!"

"Nassssty hobbitses, they stole it from ussss!" Gollum hissed. "When we find them, we will break their fiiilthy little neckses! Gollum! Gollum!"

Jar Jar looked stunned. (this was another of his regular states) "How wude!"

Gollum narrowed his eyes at him, then scurried away as quickly as possible. He even left his fish.

"Awwuuwww." Jar Jar moaned. Then he saw the fish, and ate it so fast he choked and died.

And the Star Wars fandom rejoiced.

The End.

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Review or Jar Jar and Gollum will follow you around for the rest of your life.


	2. Chapter 2

Elrond was peacefully walking through the beautiful gardens of Imladris. Nothing exciting had happened in several years, and all was calm. Lindir was playing his lyre and singing, (which in Elrond's opinion could use improvement!) but besides that doubtfully beautiful sound all was calm.

Suddenly he heard a pitiful sobbing noise coming from the hedges.

"Who's there?" he called softly, wondering why anyone in Imladris would be crying.

"Mesa lost!" wailed a strange creature, emerging from one of the bushes.

Elrond's face went O.O

"Who... are you?" he gasped in astonishment. Lindir dropped his lyre and it broke with a loud snap, making Elrond jump.

"Mesa called Jar Jar Binks. Mesa your humble servant." The thing bowed.

"That... won't be necessary." Elrond stammered. "Where... what..."

"I spake!" shouted the creature, jumping up and down.

"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent." Erestor said helpfully, emerging from where he had been watching the scene unfold. Elrond glared at him. That is not a good way to greet a guest, he shouted internally.

Erestor looked Jar Jar over thoughtfully. "I've never seen the like of you in all my wise life." he said. "Where'd you come from?"

"He said he's lost." Elrond said. "I do not believe he is of this world."

"How wude!" Jar Jar moaned. "Mesa is of this world. Mesa not going back der!"

"Back where?" Elrond asked.

"Back to that fish eater! He made mesa choke on his meals! BLEEEREEEFGHHRRR!" He shook his head, landing slobber all over the elves.

Elrond somehow managed to keep his composure. "Fish eater? Who is this fish eater?"

"Mesa not know. Mesa not know anything." He drooped his ears.

"That's for sure." Erestor muttered.

"Stop that!" hissed Elrond. "I want to find out more about this creature."

Jar Jar looked up. "Mesa hungry. Mesa not want fish."

"We'll feed you soon enough." Erestor told him. "But tell us, where are you from?"

"Mesa has no home. Mesa was kicked out cuz mesa was clumsy."

Elrond raised an eyebrow. "You were kicked out because you were clumsy?"

"Theysa strict!" wailed Jar Jar. "Even yousa strict! Mesa leaving!" He fled, first tripping over his own feet, then dashing into the forests outside of Rivendell.

"Shall I tell Glorfindel to catch that thing for you, my Lord?" inquired Erestor.

Elrond thought for a moment, frowning. "No, let it go. I have no need of it here."

"Very well." Erestor said, and headed back to his study to record this strange event.

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I just had to have Erestor quote Qui-Gon. I absolutely love that quote. XD

Review or Erestor will deem you unintelligent.


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